Ms Pham Xuan shares her journey of rediscovering joy and connection through Sunrise Aged Care.

When the days became too quiet

After my husband passed away, I struggled for a long time. Each day felt heavy and quiet, and I did not know where to begin in learning how to live on my own.

One of my daughters lives far away, while the other has a family of her own to care for. Perhaps the generation gap made it difficult for all of us to know how to open up to each other.

I had also suffered a joint and bone injury from an accident when I was still in Vietnam, which made getting around difficult. The less active I became, the more I withdrew into myself. With less social contact and fewer conversations, my mental health gradually declined. I was diagnosed with depression. Some mornings, I would wake up not knowing what I was supposed to do, with nothing to look forward to in the day ahead.

My in-laws noticed that I was becoming quieter and rarely went out, so they encouraged me to attend activities at Sunrise Aged Care. At the time, the Association had only just been established and there were not many members. I remember feeling a little shy when I first went along. I had never been part of an elderly community group before, so I did not know whether I would be able to fit in.

I simply thought I would give it a try once and, if I enjoyed it, I could come back another time. I never expected that one visit would open the door to an entirely new chapter in my life.

Where small moments started to matter

Every gathering was thoughtfully prepared by the team. From the cups of water and meals to the desserts, the arrangement of the tables and chairs, and the way each older person was welcomed, everything was carefully considered. The staff remembered each person – who had sore legs, who was vegetarian, who liked certain foods, and who had not been to a gathering for a while. I always felt the respect they showed towards older people.

After joining Sunrise Aged Care, I began to have a very simple joy to look forward to. On gathering days, I would take out my nicest clothes, get dressed up and make myself look my best so I could see my friends.

Some people might think that is something very ordinary. But for someone who had spent years mostly staying within the four walls of her home, having somewhere to look forward to and people to see was a very powerful source of motivation. People who meet me often tell me that I look healthy and happy. What they do not see are the ongoing pain in my joints and bones, and the depression that I am still receiving treatment for.

One day after a gathering, I stayed behind for quite a while. I had a lot on my mind, and I must have looked tired and unhappy. H., one of the staff members, came and sat beside me and gently asked:

"Is something wrong? You don't seem yourself today."

I told her about my health, the difficulties I was having with everyday activities, and the worries that came with getting older and having more health problems.

She did not just listen. She also spent a great deal of time guiding me, step by step, through the process of contacting the government agency that supports older people and applying for a home support package. For a younger person, those procedures might not seem particularly difficult, but for someone my age, it was a real challenge. Without her help, I do not think I would ever have felt confident enough to complete the process myself.

When I received the news that my application had been approved, I was so happy that I immediately picked up the phone and called H. to tell her. I remember saying:

"Thank you so much. Thanks to you, I can feel more at ease about my later years."

"Thanks to you, I can feel more at ease about my later years."

Finding her way back to joy

After that, I came to appreciate even more how genuinely caring the team at Sunrise Aged Care was.

They knew that I enjoyed using an eye massager whenever I attended the gatherings, so they found one for me to use at home whenever I wanted. When my doctor recommended swimming to help improve the function of my knees, the team arranged transport and provided the support I needed to keep up with my exercise.

Thanks to Sunrise Aged Care, I no longer feel that I am a burden to my children. They can focus on caring for their own families, while I can still have a life of my own. I have friends, regular gatherings, outings, swimming sessions and health appointments, without having to worry my children or make them feel responsible for me.

More importantly, my mental health has changed so much. I smile more, I am more willing to go out, I sleep better, and my depression has gradually improved over time.

Today, whenever I look back on the journey I have been through, I feel deeply grateful for the circumstances that brought me to Sunrise Aged Care.

I hope I will remain healthy enough to continue being part of Sunrise Aged Care for many years to come. This place has not only given me friends of my own age, but has also helped me rediscover a sense of peace and joy in my later years.

- THE VIET NEWS